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Happy Birthday, Baby!

January 16, 2012

My sweet baby boy is three years old today!

I have looked ahead to this day since his birth, believing with much anticipation that I just had to give my best until he passed this significant developmental milestone. And then I could ease up on the intentional, every moment is a lesson style of parenting. It’s tiring! But he dashed my hopes today at each turn. My normally kind-hearted, articulate 2 year old boy put on quite a show for his 3rd birthday.

He’s been telling me for weeks that when he turns three and is a big boy, he’ll eat carrots, broccoli and applesauce. Bet you’re wondering what he’s eaten up until now since we’re vegetarian. He happily gobbled down a serving of oversalted edamame and we moved on to the carrots, steamed and doused in butter & brown sugar. He took a mouse sized bite, mashed it up into three miniscule pieces, spit them on the floor, jumped out of his chair screaming, and turned on the piteous tears after stepping barefoot into his cast-off carrots. He continued his performance by marching upstairs and hitting his 10 month old brother on the head with plastic hangers. And the final scene involved him informing me that if he couldn’t have his daddy put him to bed, then he’d rather have no one because he didn’t like me and he didn’t love me. 

 The food spitting and hitting resulted in time-out numbers 1 and 2 of his big day. Those were two of many moments today when I wondered, sometimes aloud, what irreversible damage I’ve caused in these first three critical years. I am agonizingly aware of several situations I’ve handled poorly, but what are the lasting impacts?

And what about my attempts at the good stuff? Placing my career on hold to stay home, the I love you no matter what’s & I’m so sorry’s, the affection, encouraging words, quality time, the sheer quantity of time, bedtime stories, prayers, songs, games, museums, musicals, walks, parks, play dates, structured play, free play, mom and tot classes, summer camp, preschool, sunday school, swim lessons, music classes, tumbling, soccer, open gym… Was it too much, not enough? I don’t know the answer.

So I will continue in my efforts to love him unconditionally and treasure him as a gift from God.  And revisit it all again after his 4th birthday.

Happy Birthday, I love you baby boy!

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2 Comments leave one →
  1. Arzu Kanbak permalink
    January 17, 2012 7:18 AM

    I believe we are on the same page! Although my son is only 2.5 yrs old, he displays some odd behavior at times that make me wonder, “Am I the cause?”. I feel and hear you! Love reading your blog…keep it up Kris! LOVE LOVE LOVE the laundry basket on the head, cute undies and daddies shoes pic! Adorable! 🙂

  2. January 17, 2012 7:30 AM

    Thank you for your transparency, Kristine! I’ve learned (still learning) that to parent with intentionality takes great dedication, incalculable sacrifice, but most importantly, the grace of God. This is why we are to seek His face every morning. We were not meant to do it alone. In our weakness, He is made strong and when we start by intentionally seeking the Lord in raising our children, He fills us with the fruits of patience, gentleness, kindness and JOY. Our kids can often bring us to our knees can’t they? But at the same time, God is using these little everyday moments to refine us and draw us closer to Him. I admire your dedication and service to the little ones He has entrusted you with. What an amazing blessing and privilege it is to be a mom! Happy Birthday to your beautiful son!

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